2010 in retrospect...

Physically, financially and emotionally, 2010 has been one of the toughest years in long term. I have had to deal with a lot in my life and considering all the hopes I had while looking into 2010 I thought this would be a fantastic year.
I have a lot of stuff going on in my life to hold on to the baggage that can't be unpacked. So I'm leaving the suitcase with all the wahala right on the side of the road and moving on.
2010 had its good sides no doubt as the good book says in Ecclesiates 3:1 "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the heaven". And I experienced different times - a time of weeping and a time of laughing, -a time of embracing and a time to refrain from embrace, - a time of gaining and a time of losing, - a time to keep and a time to throw away, - a time of war and a time of peace.
Some old friendships became stronger and some others fell apart. I noticed friends that stood by me in my days of difficulty and those that left me alone to bear my cross. In all of this I am grateful.
I look into the coming year -2011 with hope, faith and not to stop believing because no matter how many times I may fall I will find my way up again and again!
I look to the new year with expectations being met, family bonds stronger than ever, friendships waxing stronger, love for God never wavering, a heart that is selfless,attain virtuouness, exemplary character, more loving, wiser, more achievements, a woman that will engrain her life in the minds of someones.
To all my friends, family, loved ones,frenemies and enemies, I pray that you too will be a part of this New Year!
Arrivederci 2010, Bien venue 2011!

Open Heart

The heart is like a flower - unless it is open it cannot release its fragrance into the world. The fragrance of the heart is made up of the qualities and virtues of our spirit. Most of us have learned how to keep our heart closed in a world that would trample all over us if we let it. Being open hearted today seems to require tremendous courage. It is a courage which comes only when we realise that no one can hurt us, no matter what they say or do. They may hurt our body, but if we have realised we are spirit, nothing outside can touch us, if we so decide. Little by little, practice opening your heart to those you think have hurt you. Realise it wasn't them that hurt you, it was yourself. And it taught you not to trust and you closed your heart. A closed heart is in need of opening. And when you do, you will have begun to heal yourself.


As a new year approaches, let us all have an open heart.


Happy New Year in advance!

Self Respect

Self-respect is not a matter of what you are doing in your life, but rather of how you are doing it. It requires that you bring quality and virtue into each action, whatever that action may 

Ugh!!!...Sighs...It surely takes perseverance

I have had a very miserable week, work pressure is highly intense, its draining and frustrating and in all of this delayed salary payment from months passed. Pressure from everywhere and of course there are those that would like to take advantage of  your weakness and low morale.
I have a burden in my heart to pray  and cry out to God. He is the only one I can call on to talk to at this time. He understands me and will never judge me. I told him how I felt and how much I was hurting and he gave me comforting  words, words of peace.
I told him about the things taking place in my life right now, relationship, low cash flow, just so many worries. I just want all of these taken AWAY!!!!
I am feeling better now because he reassured me that he is Jehovah, what he said he would do , he would do it! (Psalm 73:25-26) . I am tapping into this scripture for this entire week!


Still....funny, today during that time of a bit of saneness,  I was thinking about baby names, reason? I don't know...One name struck my mind....Hmmm....I'd rather not say but I'm going to hold on to it.


No, no.... don't you go thinking...whatever! You know what I mean. *Grinning*


*taking a deep breath*....I feel much better!!!

Learning to Love God

Dear God, may you teach me to love others in the midst of unlovely people, learn patience while experiencing irritations like I am right now!, and learn peace in the midst of chaos.


Teach me how to forgive and dwell on the scriptures more and become more like Jesus. 


I really need this!!!

Trustee Consciousness

We all have a relationship with everything. Obviously the relationship we have with the people and objects in our immediate vicinity are more intimate than the rest of the world. For most of us the most common relationship is possession. In our minds we think we own and possess things like cars and houses and carpets and golf clubs etc. This thinking easily spreads into jobs and tasks and positions and perhaps even other people. "I want you", and "You are mine alone", is the essence of many romantic film scripts and song lyrics. What we forget is that this relationship is wrong. It is not possible to possess anything. Care for..yes. Use...yes. But possess...no. You can't take it with you when you go, so we say! And yet it's the idea of possession which lies at the heart of all fear, war and conflict. Can you see it? Fear of loss, fear of not acquiring what we have already decided is ours in our minds. So what is a better relationship we can choose which takes all the fear away. Be a trustee. Everything comes to us in trust, for us to use and then to set it free. The consciousness of trustee sets us free of the tension of grasping and guarding. To see ourselves as trustees of everything that we receive, including our bodies, encourages our innate capacity to 'care for with dignity'. It is a much more relaxing way of relating to the things which we are privileged to receive in life. 

Drunken Misadventure

On this fateful morning I decided to take a walk around my compound. Its been a while I did the diligent neighbourly act. The flowers have grown wild over their hedge and I'm thinking its a quick way for "crawlies" to get into my apartment. Since Musa's departure its been totally difficult in handling the general cleanliness of the entire compound.
True to myself, Miss like it nice and tidy, I decide to do it myself, anyway. Trim, Trim I went and suddenly I hear this voice" Si-si 'hic' na na wetin you you dey do? I turned to see who it was , It was Papa that lives in the uncompleted gate house of the compound next to ours.
He tries to reach , I take a step back  obviously he could barely hold his balance and staggered from right to left.  In my mind I'm thinking any unwise reaction would either cause me harm because I know not what to expect from this old man reeking with alcohol at eight in the morning.
'Aunty, brrring am, gimme the big scissors make I use cut am". How much you go pay? I was shocked to hear him ask for money to do the work. "Papa, I go give you Five hundred Naira,  Fav, Fav, hundred, chai, sisi e to0 small , make you helep old man.
At this point I was rather furious and told him to start the work, he collected the gardening shears from me and made his way to the hedges. This old man stood there for like five minutes trying to cut off a branch from a plant apparently his vision was blurry. I watched for another few minutes and left him to continue the work.
One hour later hoping to find clean hedges and all the grass around the fence cut off, to my surprise papa did NOTHING!!!
I guess the alcohol got a better part of him. Blame it on the aa--aah al - alcohol!
 Next time I know where to get help to clean the yard!

Finding myself

As Bon Jovi rightly sang, its my life, its now or never, I ain't gonna live forever, I just want to live while I'm alive. Its my life!

Today, I have decided to reflect on my life, on the things I have done, the things I have failed to do and on the things I look forward to doing. When I finally take my exit from this world, what is the legacy I'm going to leave behind? Have I made an impact to my community? Have I touched the lives of those around me? Am I just living or simply existing?